Sharing a bed turning into a nightmare? How to get a good night’s sleep with your partner

It’s an insomniac’s worst nightmare, you’ve managed to get settled into a bedtime routine and then you fall in love. Ok, the love part is great, but with it comes the stress of having to share a bed and as every insomniac knows - this can turn into a real problem.

If you're gripped with fear about sleeping in a bed with your partner, here are seven helpful hints to help you get the rest you need.

#1 Getting the bed basics right

The first, and perhaps most obvious step, is to start with the bed itself. Unless you’re still a student, sleeping in a single bed is not the way to go. Make sure both of you can sleep in the bed without falling off. Why not go shopping with your new partner to find one that works for both of you? There are several types you can try, with Super King being the largest.

#2 Separate duvets and mattresses

Next, it’s important to look at your mattress and duvet too. A memory foam mattress is a preferred solution by many partners, as it will mould to each partner’s individual shape.

It’ll also reduce the movement of the mattress, helping to prevent the feeling that a small earthquake has occurred every time your partner rolls over!

If you find that your preferences are too different, you can even consider two mattresses pushed together with two separate duvets on top. You’ll still have that feeling of connection, but you won’t have to worry about blanket-hoggers and night-time thrashers!

#3 Tips for the rest of the bedroom

Now you’ve got the perfect bed, it’s time to turn your attention to the rest of the room. The biggest causes of sleep problems are light, noise and temperature. It is suggested that the optimum temperature for a good night’s sleep sits at around 65 degrees Fahrenheit.

Try blackout blinds so that bright streetlights don’t keep you tossing and turning, and invest in a pair of earplugs if noise is the issue, which could be a problem if one of you is a snorer.

If you are still having trouble dropping off, Sleepstation gives you daily tips to help you sleep during the first week.

#4 Snoring

You probably knew that one of these tips was going to address that one noise that all peaceful sleepers dread; the sound of a foghorn-snorer…the bane of all sleepers worldwide. But, it’s not uncommon either. Approximately 50% of the UK’s population will snore during a period of their lives.

And yet, there are plenty of steps that you can take to tackle this. You can first try more simple methods, such as a pair of silicon earbuds, investing in a white noise machine or having your partner drink less alcohol each night. You can even ask your partner to sleep on their side, rather than their back.

However, don’t take snoring too lightly. If you or your partner are overweight, snore throughout the night and wake up feeling tired in the day you could be suffering from sleep apnoea.

Sleep apnoea is a relatively common condition where the walls of the throat relax and narrow during sleep, interrupting normal breathing. Visit your doctor if you feel that this might be an issue for you.

#5 Limit your technological activity

Stop using your phones in bed! If you and your partner are keeping each other up by watching films on a laptop or flicking through Facebook, there’s a chance this is playing havoc with your sleep.

Newer devices have built in bed-time modes, helping to reduce the blue light emissions which keep us awake. But, this doesn’t help to reduce the activity within our brain that arises from using technology. Our brain is tricked into thinking it needs to be awake and alert when using our devices, regardless of what colour the waves are that are being emitted.

Instead, consider reading a fiction book before you sleep, but a real book not an ebook. A University of Sussex study found that this nightly activity can help to reduce stress levels by up to 68%. Reducing these feelings of anxiety and stress is a great way to help combat insomnia.

Why not read aloud to your partner so you can both get some enjoyment out of a bedtime read?

#6 Separate beds

If you’re finding it really difficult to drop off next to your partner, you might have to bite the bullet and try seperate beds for a while. It’s not as uncommon as you think, a study conducted by the National Sleep Foundation found that almost one in four (22%) people living with a significant other slept separately at night.

Despite there being something of a stigma attached to sleeping separately, it is a perfectly acceptable solution. Some even say that it could lead to happier marriages! 

If separate beds mean you can have more fun in the day then it’s worth a shot.

#7 Insomnia treatment

Here are some more great tips for enhancing your sleep, but if insomnia is the root cause, then these won’t completely solve the problem. For this, it’s important that you consider other methods to help tackle the problem itself, such as insomnia treatment.

Thankfully, research has come a long way in recent years, and those that struggle with their sleep don’t only have to look at getting a bigger bed or cutting down on nightcaps! Now, you can even enjoy insomnia therapy offered online in the comfort of your own home.

While some are a little hesitant to trust the effects of therapy that isn’t performed face-to-face, Sleepstation has been proven to work better than face-to-face therapy.

It can be easy to get overwhelmed with thoughts when sharing a bed with a partner, convincing yourself you won’t sleep as well. By reframing these thoughts, insomnia treatment can be the first step in helping you to get a better night’s sleep with your loved one, especially when combined with our other handy tips above.

Image credits: Adrianna Calvo  and Negative Space

 

Updated 03/08/2018

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